I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Panties = found
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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