gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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