Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
