We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm too high and old for this...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
