Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
