I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize