New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
