its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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