I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He? As in you personified your dick?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
