areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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