She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
