she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Quick, to the slutcave!
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
