i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
