did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
P.S. I can't hear my feet
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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