i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Randomize
