Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
