I understand why you refuse to be sober now
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize