U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
