so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize