Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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