used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
