Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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