Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
