I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
