the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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