I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
