butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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