Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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