Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
