This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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