It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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