We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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