OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
