We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Randomize
