Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize