An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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