somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i think i have two assholes
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
