WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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