I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i dont even know how to be here
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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