Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
