Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
