Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
