Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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