Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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