you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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