i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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