dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
