Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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