he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
