You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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