Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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