I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We have started to decorate penises.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
