Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
