Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
