I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
