I CAN MOONWALK!
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
