We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
