We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
