I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
