remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
