She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
