Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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