non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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