i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
