in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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