A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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