Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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