we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
