It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You ate ashes out of my bong
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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