she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
