haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I woke up under a house in Key West
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