At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
